Could I ask for your thoughts and anyone else's thoughts on this? Since being there though, and realising that everyone is telling me the same thing, I tried to make a conscious decision to get out of my house, and since then I feel like whatever is causing this is hitting me so hard. I thought it was amazing that my childhood had such an impact on my eating disorder and my beliefs at that time - I guess now it is happening again. I've read about it a lot, and spoken to a lot of people with the same problem, which is comforting in a sense, but in other ways not - so few people seem to have found a way out of it. I'm hoping and praying that this is the last time I have to go through something like this. I knew at that time that it would most likely have side effects, but they didn't bother me too badly.
Either way, I was not okay doing it without supervision. Every professional I have seen so far has put my issues down to my family, I think I just have a hard time accepting it, but hopefully seeing psychiatry, maybe being put on some meds if I feel confident enough, and having some talk therapy will help like it did before. I wrote down what has been happening and what my relationship with each member of my family is like with my boyfriend the other night, so I will take that along to my appointment. Then they told me they would discuss my case at their team meeting next week and would send me a letter. I would be really interested to hear! I was reading a lot about unconscious self sabotage, which a lot of people have talked about with me, but can it really do all these things?! Has anyone got any experience of this, or any thoughts about it? The article speculated that withdrawal symptoms can sometimes be delayed by several months, and can be pretty severe when they eventually do kick in. The information is so useful though, so thank you! I was on it for about two years, and came off it six months ago.
I know Prozac has the least side effects, so I would be more confident about trying that again than trying something new. It's very hard to accept - every single professional I have seen has pinpointed this, and my previous problems, to my parents. I know there's some evidence to suggest it doesn't do anything more than have a placebo effect, but I'm curious about trying it. I will wait it out, and keep you posted. Even my grandmother who I'm very close to has said the same thing. . The thoughts have been a million times worse, I feel irritable and moody all the time, I wake up from dreams still thinking I'm in them, numb, just wanting to stay in bed.
I will definitely keep a record of what I've written above - I wrote some stuff the other night with my boyfriend, about my relationship with each member of my family, and my relationship with my boyfriend, along with a written record of events so far, so I will add to it with what I've written to you guys today. Hi everyone, I'm really annoyed because I can't find the article I was reading, but it was about delayed withdrawal symptoms from anti-depressants. I must have taken them for less than a week - I can understand they take a while to work, and can create some nasty side effects at first, but I just wasn't in a place where I could understand that and see it through - I was literally a wreck - the day I stopped taking them I felt so trapped in my head, I had a massive panic attack. I might consider it again if psychiatry suggest it at my assessment. My Mum even said tonight that I couldn't have my boyfriend in with me, and I told her that that would mean she couldn't be there either, and she seemed a little disgruntled to say the least! I'm new to the idea of emotional conflict - this seems silly, but could it be that my decision to go on holiday with my boyfriend rather than my family has triggered this? I'm not sure whether the beta blockers may have had more of an effect on me, maybe the combination of the two was the bad bit. To be honest, I would rather see the psychiatrist on my own, but I would like my boyfriend to be there for before and after - I'm not keen on my parents being there at all, but I get the feeling they will want to make their voices heard.
We will see what happens, but so long as I get to see the psychiatrist, I'll be happy. Can depression do these things, like make you believe you want to be with someone else, someone you barely know?! I know you're not a Doctor and I am going to see a Doctor this week but do you have any thoughts on this? I'm intrigued that this is somehow close to home for you - if you would like to chat or anything, please let me know - it's so useful to speak to someone who has been in the same boat, or at least seen the same boat before. They came to the same conclusion everyone else has - my family are at the root of this. I will ask again at my assessment this week if this seems like a plausible reason for me feeling this way, but thank you for your input Jim. I would consider it again now, because I have a little more awareness now, and I could explain to my boyfriend about the side effects, so he was prepared for it. Certainly, when I have spoken to my boyfriend about my childhood experiences and even the way they treat me now, he has been very clear that their actions are not normal parenting. If it is that, I don't know if I can survive.
Again, I know it sounds silly, but there are a lot of issues within my family, one of them being my Mum's emotional attachment to me - being away from her makes me feel guilty, and I can pinpoint the start of this anxiety as being round about the time when all the thoughts and feelings of being unwell started. So yeah, I wasn't on Prozac or the beta blockers for very long at all. I would be a lot happier trying a medication under supervision from someone who specialises in mental health. What's your opinion on St. Can anyone offer any advice, or tell me if its bad they didn't give me any indication of any other treatment at the assessment? Um, I was on Prozac for about two years 2007-2009 for my eating disorder.
I have been thinking about this theory on and off since this began, and I should probably pay more attention to the fact that my anxiety is worse at home, and grows increasingly worse when I am travelling home. I'm so tired of my mood being so up and down, and these thoughts changing and twisting so much though : I'm desperate for it to be Thursday - really feel that if someone can put a name to what it is that's happening to me, I'll at least have the motivation and the tools to fix it. Of course, they could still come, because they've seen it all before. The other idea though it breaks my heart is that I'm not in love anymore : and that is what is causing the depersonalization. Thanks again for your help! No diagnosis at the time, or any indication of whether I would be offered any treatment or not.
I agree with them that I need some respite away from home, but I'm really scared that that is all they can help me with, and I won't receive any more help - I'm away from home just now, and things are still bad - horrible dreams, racing thoughts, not even wanting to get out of bed - I can't even go to work - I feel completely at a loss, and I don't know how to get back from this by myself. . . . .
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